Tony Scott, blogging from the Croisette for the NYT, announces that he has come down with a case of "Cannitis," symptoms of which appear to include using the second person like a third-rate McInerny and shitty, labored French pronunciation. Also, manifesting weird tribal markings on one's cheekbones, if his appearance in this audio slideshow is any indication. Someone alert the CDC.
I gotta say, Manohla's camera shyness seems like an ever smarter move. Oh, she's there, too,* and just itching to drop an F-bomb. You can tell. Don't believe me?
Meanwhile, can I also just say that the whole "wee-fee" thing at the Palais (i.e., the bunker) bites? Yesterday, after repeatedly trying and failing to get my WiFi up and running, I dropped by the WiFi headquarters and was told by one of the innumerable pretty and thoroughly useless young attendants that the "technician" had departed and would not be returning to the festival. Bien sur! One of my acquaintances, a longtime festival attendant, once described the French as Italians who think they are Germans. No further comment is warranted, especially since I want to return here next year and with a white pass.
Jesus, Dargis, launch into a chorus of "Springtime for Hitler," why don't you? [Guess there was nothing in the Ground Rules about not provoking international incidents.]
Because this is a blog they're writing, see, there are time and date stamps on each post. My kingdom for a tip from any Cannes attendees who catch either critic out and about when they were allegedly posting... Times copyeditors and assorted web folk should also feel free to drop a dime in the comments.
*Confidential to MD: "Robert" wouldn't be Robert Lloyd, would it?