After reading this article about the viewing habits of mere zygotes, the cinetrix apologizes for suggesting you pick out a nice video to watch while she did her work. In general, as the cinetrix observes the mini-Palms and laptops that pass as toys for her friends' children, she becomes ever more committed to extending her Luddite genes into the next generation.
Back in the day, I devoted a fair amount of time to investigating the notions of female spectatorship [i.e., who do the ladies identify with on the screen when it's generally menfolk who star in the action?] Some once argued that women were little more than children, passive subjects with no agency or critical faculty of their own, or that female viewers had to undertake a sort of transvestite metamorphosis to watch a movie. Of course, this is, as they say, the bunk. But now it seems that grown-up men and women alike should aspire to the viewing savvy of tiny tykes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah--it's great for little babies to ask for Mozart by name. Here's an idea--put on a CD! Don't turn on the TV. Or, if you must, set them in front of the Looney Tunes. That's where the cinetrix learned all about classical music. And gravity.
This is just wrong.
On a typical day, the study found, 59 percent of children 6 months to 2 years watch television, and 42 percent watch a videotape or a DVD. The median time they spend watching some form of media or another on the screen is slightly more than two hours.
And this woman should listen to her spouse:
"It's like a treat for Eli," said Joanna Grand of South Hadley, Mass., whose 9-month-old son is allowed to watch "Baby Mozart," which he got as a baby present, only about once a week. "He gets very quiet, and he can't take his eyes off it, so it gives us a little time to make dinner. My husband hates the idea of it. He sees the baby staring at the TV like that, and it freaks him out."
Please understand, the cinetrix used to read the Globe's TV Week listings for fun when she was a kid. This same cinetrix was nurtured on Clif Garboden's Hot Dots and even today harbors a very real crush on Entertainment Weekly television critic Dalton Ross. But this is just crap that appeals to parents' own cluelessness, anxiety, and competitive natures. Of course, your child is a genius. Turn off the Baby Einstein already!
Rant done. Now go outside and play.
