pullquote

No sex, please--we're British!

Sex. It all comes down to class in Britain, if you believe what the Guardian says. The Cannes debut of Michael Winterbottom's explicit new film Nine Stories provokes a curious meditation in the paper entitled Sex and the Cinema: A Brief History.

Brief it is. A veritable quickie. In a mere eight paragraphs we learn such valuable distinctions as "it could be claimed that porn is for voyeurs and simply about sex, whereas 'hard core' could sometimes be about love as well as physical grappling." But the real question continues to be whether you want the chattering classes exposed to such things.

In the early 70s, when Andy Warhol's Flesh and Trash were shown at the ICA Cinema in London, the then censor said to me: "It is all very well showing low-life sexual promiscuity to a middle-class audience in the capital. But what would happen if it were exhibited to a working-class audience in Manchester?"

What, indeed? Sounds like the upper class continues to fuck the lower, just like in the movies. But as long as it's contained in art-house flicks and costume dramas, they'll never cop on.

Dying's easy

The wire services come through with this little gem: Total Film magazine has published a poll naming Janet Leigh's shower scene the best movie death ever.

Now, the cinetrix is not going to deny that she has that iconic image in her own shower stall [she does, it's true], but aren't there better movie deaths?

"Some of the deaths in the poll, like The Wicked Witch melting in 'The Wizard Of Oz' (13th), are iconic but laughable, but nearly 45 years on, 'Psycho's' shower scene is still distressing," said Total Film deputy editor Simon Crook.

"It's the sheer violence of the edit rather than any explicit gore — 70 different angles, over 90 cuts and those shrieking violins. It's a master class in montage and audience manipulation."

Crook added: "Knowing that the blood is Bosco's chocolate syrup and that a pulped casaba melon stood in for the stabbing noises does nothing to reduce the impact."

Other highly rated demises include Slim Picken's rocket ride in Dr. Strangelove [2], King Kong's fatal fall in 1933 [3], Alan Rickman's similar swan dive in Die Hard [4], the end of Bonnie and Clyde [5], and the psyche-shattering death of Bambi's mom [6]. The complete top 50 list will appear in the magazine's July issue.

Clearly the cinetrix is in the wrong racket and needs to come up with a poll. For the record, she is a sucker for glam movie deaths in soft focus, like Bette Davis' noble decline in Dark Victory.

Crucifixion's a doddle

The cinetrix hates to be late to any party, but she was busy gnoshing like Ganesh and drinking Tecate in a former sweatshop when this item first appeared in the Times: John Cleese is starting a blog, thejohncleese.com. Not a whole lot of content up there as yet, but Cleese is ambitious.

I get lots and lots of funny ideas. And I think to myself: what am I going to do? I don't have a show. So it seems to me the best thing I can do is to buy a little camera, write funny things, and then perform them very, very simply in front of this camera, and put it on the Web site the next day. Apparently, there are people who will pay 50 cents a week to download bits of funny material.

That's all well and good--welcome aboard, old man--but here's the insight that really tickled my fancy:

Is it also harder to age gracefully in comedy?

CLEESE Oh, I don't think so. I think if people know who you are . . . like if Michael Caine walks on screen, everybody knows it's Michael Caine, and they don't realize that he's 130 or whatever. Because it's Michael Caine, and we've loved Michael Caine for as long as we can remember, so we just see Michael Caine. We don't think, "Who is that extraordinarily ancient man?"

The 'Fesser does a one-word impersonation of Caine that's quite something.

What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas

Imagine! A cinephilic occasion that offers the possibility of seeing in person just how puffy Affleck's let himself become post-J Lo. That's right, the cinetrix is talkin' the CineVegas Film Festival, which is letting it ride from June 11 to June 19 in Los Vegas, Nevada.

You might be able to resist an organization that boasts Dennis Hopper as chair of its Board of Directors, but the cinetrix cannot. In fact, the whole festival is lousy with Hopper, and the line up reflects this, er, eclectic sensibility. As part of a program honoring David Lynch, Erasehead screens Wednesday, June 16, at 7:30 p.m. [But good luck looking at those folks playing the slots and sucking oxygen without thinking of Frank Booth.]

It's a little disappointing the festival didn't take more advantage of the up-all-night, no clocks vibe when scheduling its screening. Even the "bizarre underground collection of cult and midnight movies for the most hardcore fans" dubbed Area 52 unspools at lunchtime.

Other highlights include Stephen Fry's Bright Young Things, Stacy Peralta's Riding Giants, James Toback's When Will I Be Loved?, cult film in the making Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle, and this less than fond look at the other Chairman of the Board:

The Night We Called it a Day
Dir: Paul Goldman
Country: Australia
Running Time: 97 minutes
Based on a true story about Frank Sinatra’s disastrous tour of Australia in 1974, where the unions went on strike because of his insult to a female reporter.
Wednesday, June 16, 8:00pm; Thursday, June 17, noon

Can you guess who plays Sinatra? That's right, Dennis Hopper. Ring-a-ding-ding.

It's a composite

The recent interview with Chris Eigeman over at Gothamist got TMFTML to wondering whatever happened to Whit Stillman anyway. Thanks to an assist from the able folks over at Daily GreenCine, the cinetrix can offer a sighting--in the Post, no less--if not a complete dossier.

Stillman reviews In the Spirit of Cannes, by Henry-Jean Servat, an A to Z chronicle of the festival's evolution through the 1950s and 60s. The Post byline identifies Stillman as "the author of 'Last Days of Disco with Cocktails at Petrossian Afterwards.'" No mention of his films.

Fred: You think wedding vows are going to change everything? God, your naivete is astounding! Didn't you see "The Graduate"?
Ted: You can remember "The Graduate"?
Fred: Yeah, I can remember a few things. Apparently you don't. The end? Katharine Ross has just married this really cool guy - tall, blond, incredibly popular, the make-out king of his fraternity in Berkeley - when this obnoxious Dustin Hoffman character shows up at the back of the church, acting like a total asshole. "Elaine! Elaine!" Does Katharine Ross tell Dustin Hoffman, "Get lost, creep. I'm a married woman"? No. She runs off with him - on a bus. That is the reality.

Next question.

R.I.P. Tony Randall

Tony Randall died in his sleep Monday night at NYU Medical Center of complications from a long illness, according to his publicity firm, Springer Associates. The actor developed pneumonia after undergoing heart bypass surgery in December. He was 84.

In a tribute to the actor, known for his work on stage as well as television, lights at all the Broadway theaters were to be dimmed at 8 p.m. Tuesday.

IMDb has pulled together a good overview of Randall's career here.

On a personal note, the cinetrix fondly remembers that Tony Randall appeared on the first ever Conan O'Brien show. He came out on rollerskates and sang Edelweiss with Conan.

He, and the matching tie and jacket linings he showed off whenever he appeared as late night television's favorite pinch-hitting raconteur, will be missed.

House of Flying Daggers

Variety announced that the first major U.S. acquisition at Cannes this year is Zhang Yimou's latest, House of Flying Daggers, which was picked up by Sony Pictures Classics. Daggers boasts a cast just as attractive as Zhang's long-time leading lady Gong Li: Takeshi Kaneshiro, Andy Lau, and Zhang Ziyi.

The cinetrix just saw Zhang's Ju Dou for the first time just last night, and she is still wrecked. Man, what a story.

Don't say a word

After yesterday's silence, it seems only appropriate to come roaring back with an announcement about the third international Women and the Silent Screen congress.

THE THIRD INTERNATIONAL Women and the Silent Screen Congress,
to be held in Montreal June 2-6, 2004, will celebrate the diversity of women’s engagement with silent cinemas across the globe. Sponsored by the WOMEN FILM PIONEERS PROJECT and the GRAFICS research group, this will be the first congress of its kind in Canada.

The Congress will include scholarly panels, keynote addresses, and archival film screenings in an open and friendly atmosphere where participants can exchange information and ideas on the many women who were involved in the first four decades of film history.

This will be a bilingual event featuring simultaneous translation, held at Concordia University's downtown Montreal campus, an excellent venue for the screening of rare films with piano accompaniment.

As the dynamic role that women played in the silent film era becomes better understood, an exciting new area of film studies research has opened up. Women and the Silent Screen Congress will showcase the provocative, intriguing, and rejuvenating questions this research has stimulated. It will focus not only on the directors, screenwriters, producers and actors of the era, but also on the larger role of women in modern mass culture in an international context.

There will also be screenings on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights. Access the entire schedule here.

Please stand by

The cinetrix apologizes for the interruption in service. Regular blathering will resume Tuesday. Thank you for your patience and understanding.

A tipple for TMFTML

The Guardian comes through with some real service journalism. To wit: some of Hollywood's best cocktail movies, complete with recipes so cinephiliac mixologists can drink along at with some of the greats.

Here's one for the Fesser:

Knickerbocker
The Thin Man (1934)
Based on a 1932 detective novel, Nick and Nora charmed critics and cinema-goers and earned themselves four Oscar nominations. The constant drinking of this jovial, bantering couple never hampered their investigative skills - quite the opposite, in fact. "Can't you say anything about the case?" a detective asks. "Yes," Nick grumbles. "It's putting me way behind in my drinking."

How to make it
50ml gin
Large dash dry vermouth
Small dash sweet vermouth
Add the gin and both vermouths to a mixing glass filled with ice. Once well mixed, strain into a frosted martini glass.