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Paging Hedora

Catching up with her Times reading today, the cinetrix stumbled across this article, "On Screens Soon, Abused Earth Gets Its Revenge," which discusses upcoming releases in which Mother Nature strikes back as if this was a new thing.

To which I can only say, uh, Gojira tai Hedora, anyone? Who can forget the trippy pro-environment song in acid-infused Tohoscope?

Three words: Save the Earth!

You never even called me by my name

It's the cinetrix's last day in here in the city with lifted head singing so proud to be alive and coarse and strong and cunning. She's seen old friends, made new ones, didn't go to nearly enough panels [a blanket apology], and can't believe SCMS--the Trekker convention for film academics--is almost over.

Excelsior, or whatever it is the young people say. Full Frame has announced its New Docs in Competition slate, and there's some amazing stuff on there. The cinetrix is looking forward to seeing what all the Manda Bala hype is about, and she heartily recommends Sam Green's lot 63, grave c. Also, I admit, this one caught my eye:

Field Of Stone   Shambhavi Kaul   l   World Premiere
A disturbing portrait of country music’s infamous David Allen Coe, a man crumbling under the weight of his demons. 

Who isn't a sucker for troubled musician docs? Hell, you could easily program an entire festival devoted to them at this point.

Until that happy day, there's Full Frame. Start scouring the lineup here.

Thirteen ways of looking at a black man*

Hats off to the Onion AV crew for assembling a spot-on list of movies starring "Magical African-American Friends" with no job in the narrative save to solve Whitey's problems. Witness:

5. Bruce Almighty (2003)

Who could be magical than God himself? With his calm self-assurance, Morgan Freeman makes as good a God as any, though before long, he turns the reins over to Jim Carrey, a local TV weatherman who uses his newfound powers in the least imaginative way possible by giving his wife bigger breasts and turning himself into Buffalo's top newscaster. Ever patient, Freeman-as-God waits behind the scenes for Carrey to learn his lesson and think about the global consequences of his selfish actions, to say nothing of the millions of prayers that have piled up unanswered. Freeman's divine style is pretty laissez faire, however: "When a child says 'no' to drugs and 'yes' to an education," that constitutes a miracle in his eyes.

Well, spot-on as far as it goes. MIA is Number 1 boy weepie, the flick I ruthlessly mock students for naming as their favorite: The Shawshank Redemption. [Admit it, I'm right.]

*Buy Brother Skip's books. That's what he'd tell you. Also, this.

SCMS: They tell me you are wicked and I believe them

Howdy from the city of the big shoulders/hog butcher for the world, where the cinetrix is attending the annual meeting of the Society of Cinema and Media Studies. If you're also here [Chuck, I am looking at you. You, too], do holler in the comments. We can grab a beer at McManque's or whatever the faux Irish hotel bar is called.

As for the rest of youse, despair not. The shot analyses are finally graded, so I hope to regale you with tales of springing Chungking Express on unsuspecting, midterm-weary students, as well as the other films brought to you by the letter C [Cleo from 5 to 7 redux and the Clive-licious Children of Men, plus Varda's equally grim Sans toit ni loi] I've managed to squeeze in around responsibilities. Anon.

For now, check the 'Fesser talking film like some crazy sweeps week switcheroo stunt. And writhe in horror at the kitschiest film news of the day. Back soon.

Lines We Wish We Wrote #871

Hats off to Gillian Flynn, for this gem from "And the Loser Is" in the March 9 issue of Entertainment Weekly:

The three spotty film montages taught me the following: Writing is both hilarious and frustrating; movies in languages other than English are awesome; and America is... violent? Cool? Racist? Filled with horses?

Yeah, shame on you, Michael Mann.

She also takes on Pilobus, but the cinetrix still stands by her original remark during the kudocast: "What's next? Mummenschanz?"

It's just a shot away

Nearly forgot, in my takedown discussion of Tha Depahted the other day, to call out the film for the faackin' omnipresence of the State House. Yes, it sits atop Beacon Hill. Yes, it's got a blingy gold dome. But by no means is it visible from every window in Baahstan. Fah from it.

For example, the cinetrix doubts you can see it from Boston Police Headquarters. Or from Wintah Hill. Yet you'd never know it watching this flick. Somehow Scorsese keeps placing that sucker in the background of shot after shot.

It's as silly as having the Eiffel Tower appear in every film set in Paris--from Zazie to the Andrew Blake oeuvre [NSFW]. Let's hear it for the free-floating empty signifier!

***

The cinetrix has been wondering what Manohla Dargis thought of Scorsese's win. Remember, she wasn't all that enthused about the possibility he'd nab it for The Aviator:

"Who gives a shit that I’m wrong?" Ms. Dargis said over the phone, laughing. She then defended herself by invoking the William Goldman truism that "nobody knows nothing" in Hollywood. "I just thought it was going to be a pity fuck for Marty."

Pity fuck or faackin' pity?

Anyhoo, speaking of Ms. Manohla, the cinetrix was entertained by Dargis's little discursis on apophenia in her recent review of the Jim Carrey is serious, you guys, thriller The Number 23:

Before you can say “obsessive-compulsive disorder” or look up apophenia* (the experience of seeing connections where none exist), Walter finds himself seeing the number 23 in every combination everywhere he turns: indoors and out, on street signs and in his personal history, name and anniversaries. It all adds up, even if it doesn’t.

What does it mean? Not much, though the film spends a lot of our time and its energy trying to persuade us otherwise. Mr. Schumacher has some fun with special effects, taking us inside the gloomy neo-noir world of the book itself, where Mr. Carrey plays another character with an animal-related moniker, Fingerling. The word Fingerling means small fish, but he comes across as small potatoes.

[Nyuk, nyuk. Do you think she and Lou high-fived when she came up with that kicker?]

* "Speaking of pattern recognition," the cinetrix's second post evar was about apophenia. Coincidence?

What does Marcellus Wallace look like?

The cinetrix has been decompressing from the stress of midterms [status update: papers still refusing to grade themselves] by flipping through Spy: The Funny Years every time she needs a break. She's now of the conclusion that, a la Eno's axiom about the Velvets, every suburban high schooler in the 80s who thrilled to the monthly dismantling of a certain short-fingered vulgarian grew up and started a blog.

They might also be a bit of a typeface geek.

So for them, I pass along this recreation of a memorable Pulp Fiction scene using only typefaces. [Grazie all'uomo c'era un poco fascisti.]

That's not funny*

Iraq in Fragments producer John Sinno made a small splash this past week, not for winning an Academy Award [Al Gore Davis Guggenheim did], but for calling out tedious comedian Jerry Seinfeld for his injurious comments about documentaries at the Oscars [via a blast email that even the cinetrix received]. A taste:

I had the great fortune of attending the 79th Academy Awards following my nomination as producer for a film in the Best Documentary Feature category.At the Awards ceremony, most categories featured an introduction that glorified the filmmakers' craft and the role it plays for the film audience and industry. But when comedian Jerry Seinfeld introduced the award for Best Documentary Feature, he began by referring to a documentary that features himself as a subject, then proceeded to poke fun at it by saying it won no awards and made no money. He then revealed his love of documentaries, as they have a very "real" quality, while making a comically sour face. This less-than-flattering beginning was followed by a lengthy digression that had nothing whatsoever to do with documentary films. The clincher, however, came when he wrapped up his introduction by calling all five nominated films "incredibly depressing!"

While I appreciate the role of humor in our lives, Jerry Seinfeld’s remarks were made at the expense of thousands of documentary filmmakers and the entire documentary genre. Obviously we make films not for awards or money, although we are glad if we are fortunate enough to receive them. The important thing is to tell stories, whether of people who have been damaged by war, of humankind’s reckless attitude toward nature and the environment, or even of the lives and habits of penguins. With his lengthy, dismissive and digressive introduction, Jerry Seinfeld had no time left for any individual description of the five nominated films. And by labeling the documentaries "incredibly depressing," he indirectly told millions of viewers not to bother seeing them because they’re nothing but downers. He wasted a wonderful opportunity to excite viewers about the nominated films and about the documentary genre in general

To have a presenter introduce a category with such disrespect for the nominees and their work is counter to the principles the Academy was founded upon. To be nominated for an Academy Award is one of the highest honors our peers can give us, and to have the films dismissed in such an offhand fashion was deeply insulting. The Academy owes all documentary filmmakers an apology.

Yeeeahhh, boyyyy!

Guess Ira Glass better watch his back. This American Life's geek-manque host had this to say about Sinno's beloved and besieged genre in today's New York Times Magazine:

Q: Your new television show, "This American Life," is basically the picture version of your longtime public-radio show, which is devoted to the art of oral storytelling. Are you abandoning that to become a documentary filmmaker? We don't say "documentary" because "documentary" sounds boring. We try to avoid that word.

Oh, snap! It's on like Rae Dawn Chong. The cinetrix predicts a duel at dawn at either Full Frame or SilverDocs.

*Anyone else reminded of this bit of bear baiting?