Some Utah saints in Salt Lake City saw fit to dispatch this enticement to the cinetrix's email over the holidays. Remember when that video store got busted for reediting Titanic for Mormons back in the day? It seems someone's figured out a work-around. Here's what they claim:
Your ClearPlay DVD player has the amazing ability to filter content from your DVD movies. Your viewing of the movie is incredibly smooth because we make unique frame-accurate Filters, customized for each movie. ClearPlay is providing a membership which gives you access to Filters for over 2000 movies, as well as all the newest ones as soon as the DVD’s are released.
Amazing! But how does it work? No idea. There are a lot of testimonials on the site like this one
We bought a Clearplay about three months ago. It is amazing. When watching a show with a filter on we can actually enjoy the show instead of worrying about when the next cuss word or bedroom scene will pop up. It definitely doesn't take anything away from the actual movie.
[oy] but no real information about how these "filters" work.
So the cinetrix was wondering, could you hack their Moroni-powered technology? Make dragging movies spritely? Dumb movies smarter? Art house flicks less pretentious? Or is this player really powered by a bunch of LDS types in an editing room somewhere, cross-referencing Mr. Skin to make the relevant cuts?
Copyright-infringing "technology" like this makes Gondry seem like a documentarian. But it did make me wonder, of the 2007 releases you saw, what would you cut if you could? For example, a little less Gere in I'm Not There? Or the last twenty minutes of Sunshine? Get out your bullshit-omitting Steenbecks and leave your nominees in the comments.