Apologies for the long absence. Chez cinetrix it's been all adult situations* lately, and none of them involving topless babes in a hot tub.
Had I time and concentration enough to post, however, I might ask why young Coraline is the most well-developed female character [OK, the plot not so much] in a movie released so far this year. Even without the 3-D glasses.
I'm serious. For complicated reasons [Penny Pascal dared me], the only other movie I've seen in the theatre in '09 was the excrable Bride Wars. Did any of you unfortunates who also saw it note the frequent Candace Bergen-narrated montage sequences shot in a style approaching tilt-shift photography? As though those shallow young women could seem any smaller or more petty.
Worse still, though, were the trailers that ran before Bride Wars for other "movies" I could be presumed to like: He's Just Not That Into You, Confessions of a Shopaholic, New in Town, and All About Steve. I use the term "movies" advisedly, given that the amount of plastic surgery/Botox some of America's aging sweethearts appear to have undergone in the latter two would seem to obviate that option. I'm looking at you, Renee Zellweger. The squinchy-faced actress has always resembled the terrible progeny of a Cabbage Patch Kid and a Real Doll, but the north ain't the only thing that's frozen in this high-achiever-brought-low movie.
The cinetrix is trying hard not to look at Sandra Bullock, however. What the hell happened to girlfriend's face? Last I heard she'd become some tv biker's motorcycle momma, not Jocelyn Wildenstein the Second. I honestly didn't recognize her.
The Glorious Ladies of Slate's Movie Club were right on to mention the harm plastic surgery does to the movies, albeit too cautious. What these actresses need is a proper comeback vehicle. Not The Women, either. More like a distaff JCVD or Wrestler. [It may be too much to hope that Grey Gardens will be that movie for Jessica Lange, but a girl can dream.]
And what I need is to get back to work. Leave your meta scenarios for Renee and Sandy et al. in the comments.
*mostly job stuff.
