"To Roxana Saberi, Iranian with an American passport"
If I kept quiet until now, it was for her sake. If today I speak, it is for her sake.
She is my friend, my fiancée, and my companion. An intelligent and talented young woman, whom I have always admired.
It was the 31st of January. The day of my birthday. That morning, she
called to say she would pick me up so we would go out together. She
never came. I called on her mobile, but it was off, and for two-three
days I had no idea what had happened to her. I went to her apartment,
and since we had each other's keys, I went in, but she wasn't there.
Two days later, she called and said: "Forgive me my dear; I had to go
to Zahedan." I got angry: why hadn't she said anything to me? I told
her I didn't believe her, and again she said: "Forgive me my dear, I
had to go." And the line was cut. I waited for her to call back. But
she didn't call back. She didn't call back.
I left for Zahedan. I looked for her in every hotel, but nobody had
ever heard her name. For ten days, thousands of wild thoughts came to
my mind. Until I learned, through her father, she had been arrested. I
thought it was a joke.
I thought it was a misunderstanding and that she would be released
after two or three days. But days went by and I had no news from her. I
started to worry and knocked on every door for help, until I understood
what had happened.
It is with tears in my eyes that I say she is innocent and guiltless.
It is me, who has known her for years, and shared every moment with
her, who declares it. She was always busy reading and doing her
research. Nothing else. During all these years I've known her, she
wouldn't go anywhere without letting me know, nor would do anything
without asking my advice. To her friends, her family, everyone that
surrounded her, she had given no signs of unreasonable behavior. How
come someone who would spend days without going out of her apartment,
except to see me; someone who, like a Japanese lady, would carefully
spend her money, and had sometimes trouble making a living; someone who
was looking for a sponsor to get in contact with a local publisher so
her book would be printed here (in Iran); could now be charged with a
spying accusation?! We all know – no, we have all seen in movies – that
spies are malicious and sneaky, that they peep around for information,
and that they are very well paid.
And now my heart is full of sorrow. Because it is me who incited her to
stay here. And now I can't do anything for her. Roxana wanted to leave
Iran. I kept her from it.

At the beginning of our relationship, she wanted to go back to the
United States. She would have liked us to go together. But I insisted
for her to stay until my new film was over. She really wanted to leave
Iran. And I kept her from it. And now I am devastated, for it is
because of me she has been subject to these events. These past years, I
have been subject to a serious depression. Why? Because my movie had
been banned, and released on the black market. My next movie was not
given an authorization, and I was forced to stay at home. If I've been
able to stand it until today, it is thanks to the presence and help
that she provided me with.
Since I had no authorization for my last movie, I was nervous and ill-tempered. And she was always there to calm me down.
Roxana wanted to leave Iran. I kept her from it. She is the one who
took care of me while I was depressed. Then I convinced her to stay, I
wanted her to write the book she had started in her head. I accompanied
her, and thanks to my friends and contacts, I knocked on every door and
was able to set up meetings with film makers, artists, sociologists,
politics, and others. I would go with her myself.
She was absorbed by her book, to the point that she could stay and bear
it all, until my film would be finished, and we would leave together.
Roxana's book was a praise to Iran. The manuscripts exist, and it will
certainly be published one day, and all will see it. But why have they
said nothing? All those who have talked, worked and sat with her, and
who know how guiltless she is.
I am writing this letter for I am worried about her. I am worried about
her health. I heard she was depressed and cried all the time. She is
very sensitive. To the point she refuses to touch her food.
My letter is a desperate call to all statesmen and politics, and to all
those who can do something to help. From the other side of the ocean,
the Americans have protested against her imprisonment, because she is
an American citizen. But I say no, she is Iranian, and she loves Iran.
I beg you, let her go! I beg you not to throw her in the midst of you
political games! She is too weak and too pure to take part in your
games. Let me be present at her trial, sit next to her wise father and
gentle mother, and testify she is without guilt or reproach.
However, I am optimistic about her release, and I firmly hope the verdict will be cancelled in the next stage of the trial.
My Iranian girl with Japanese eyes and an American ID, is in jail. Shame on me! Shame on us!
Bahman Ghobadi
April 21st, 2009.