Oh, okay, and the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion. The cinetrix will be joining a bunch of like-minded scalywags to crack wise during this evening's Oscar ceremony. You can find the liveblogging action at GreenCine.
My inclusion among folks who actually write about movies for a living is particularly hilarious to me, as I've seen half the Best Picture nominees and a random assortment of flicks receiving nods in other categories. As well as all of the animated shorts [but that was mostly because I was going to dinner near a theatre screening them].
Check out this disclaimer: I haven't seen Avatar. [Last Cameron flick I saw was The Abyss.] Or Precious [still scarred by the whole Sista Souljah moment]. Or Up [little old people and death? not for me after the year I've had]. Or The Blind Side [um, football? White women's problems?] Or District 9 [I don't even eat prawns].
Or Invictus [Eastwood? Pass.] or The Lovely Bones or The Last Station or Nine or The Princess and the Frog.
Shit, nobody's seen The Secret of Kells. That missing definite article bugs the shit out of me, however. It's like, "What about prom, Blaine?" I'm from New England. EVERYTHING gets a definite article.
No Parnassus or Sherlock or Victoria of any age. No Il Divo or Star Trek or Paris 36.
I do wish I'd seen The Messenger.
Oh, and no docs of any length. None of the foreign nominees.
So, you'll find no prognosticating from me here. Just links to a few thoughts on work being recognized at this televised spectacle.
- The 'Fesser may never forgive me for exposing him to Best Actress nominee Meryl Streep's minstrel version of Julia Child. He had this to say: Streep's performance consists largely of hoots and caws, giving the impression that Streep is mute, and she is operating one of those talking keychains, except for Julia Child, rather than The Dude or Scarface.
- I decided that Julia Roberts looks like the Other Mother in Best Animated Feature nominee Coraline. Or was that vicey versey?
- A Single Man's Colin Firth (Best Actor nominee) appears to be living the midcentury modern life on a professor's salary. I gotta be doing something wrong.
- (Best Original Screenplay) A Serious Man was last night's wall-projected selection. Is it good for The Jews? Got me. Let's just say Professor Gopnik's beset state seemed more like.
- Speaking of The Jews, do read this Awl piece on Eli Roth and Inglorious Basterds. AND all of the comments.
- I taught the short version of Lynn Barber's An Education that appeared in Granta. My students found the protagonist cold and emotionless.
- I do wish In the Loop would win Best fucking Adapted Screenplay. I shall have to console myself with the episodes of The Thick of It that were just burned for me instead.
- The sound in The Hurt Locker, which I also watched projected on a wall in my house with speakers behind my head? Damn, son.
- Aside: Who would be the bigger dick of a coworker? Will James or Malcolm Tucker?
- Caught Crazy Heart just this Thursday. Props are due to whomever got Colin Farrell cast as the new Nashville, new country star. Genius. Just the right amount of stubble and fatuousness. Yeah, yeah, Jeff Bridges. Love the guy. Now, would someone PLEASE feed Ms. Gyllenhaal a sandwich? Ours was a matinee with tons of old folks, who joined me in gasping and tut-tutting during a sex scene when her bony hipbone just jutted the fuck out.
